random

i realized this at work now i never wanted to be considered a typical guy but i am im shallow ( i will not like a girl unless i find them attractive even if they have the most amazing personality in the world if they have slightly below looks i will not like them) and i dont like that about myself. i wish i could like girls that were below average in the looks catagory cause looking for someone that is accualy atractive doesnt seem to be working out for me. i got lucky three times, i still dont know how i got them to go out with me. its not like i have much to offer. im pretty much average yet i look for people that are above average. have you ever acually( i cant even spell) thought about death and what might happen after death like how many people would miss you, if other peoples life would be better without u. this is what keeps me up till around 3ish lying in bed since 11. i think i want to die before i have to go to college i just dont think i couold handle having to try and make friends with a new bunch of friends and live on my own. and i would have to leave the one person i really dont want to. i think i would prefer i everything would just stay how it is with just afew minor changes. just one continuas loop of grade 11. and im really bad at making who i like obvious but i try not to i just dont know any other way to act around them

idk

I dont know why life has decided to be so hard but to be honest its all my fault if i had been better, if i wouldnt have been scared, just been a man and done what i know i should have life would be so much better alot easier i wouldnt hate some people i make it look like i like and i wouldnt have to lie about who i hate and who i like and things would be a hell of alot better. well for me anyways idk how they would have been for other people so i geuss its better this way. better to have one person depressed than to have alot of people depressed although we dont know what would have happend if i would have done what i know i should have life might be alot better for people and for that i am sorry not only to myself but to everyone for not being able to see what life would have been like.

bored

i am really bored

another

All the love that history knows,
is said to be on every rose.
Yet all that could be found in two,
is less than what i feel for you.

ok

When I'm with you,

eternity is a step away,
my love continues to grow,
with each passing day.

This treasure of love,
I cherish within my soul,
how much I love you...
you'll really never know.

You bring a joy to my heart,
I've never felt before,
with each touch of your hand,
I love you more and more.

Whenever we say goodbye,
whenever we part,
know i hold you dearly,
deep inside my heart.

So these seven words,
I pray you hold true,
"Forever and always,
I will love you."

why

Why did I create a blog.
I guess the reason why I created one was a couple of my friends have them so i didn`t want to be left out of conversations when they started talking about blogs.
I don`t really need a blog. I don`t usually tell people how I`m feeling, but I guess I have to start doing that now.